How do I give meaningful feedback to others? I’m so nervous that I will offend someone, please help! Let’s talk about 3 simple steps to give feedback.
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Mentioned on Ep 117: How do I give meaningful feedback to others? I’m so nervous that I will offend someone, please help! Let’s talk about 3 simple steps to give feedback.
Welcome back to The Burnout Doctor Podcast, I’m your host Dr. Jessica Louie. We are talking about how to give meaningful feedback today. Thank you for sharing your action steps from our last episode on how to cultivate community. Many of you are taking action by using our complimentary Burnout Starter Kit – don’t forget to download yours today! We all write our own stories in our lives and homes. Let’s all bring joy into home and joy into work.
To build on our topic of cultivating community, giving meaningful or constructive feedback to others can be challenging. I know I felt I lacked knowledge and confidence in this area over the years. With experience and a great feedback method I read about in Kristen Hadeed’s book: Permission to Screw Up: How I Learned to Lead by Doing Almost Everything Wrong. (see all my favorite books here)
Known as the FBI method, first taught by Bob Chapman, CEO of Barry-Wehmiller.
FBI Method:
Feeling – Behavior – Impact Method
Use this method to shift how you interact with others and cultivate clear relationships and communications
Examples:
- I feel disappointed that you were thirty minutes late to the meeting yesterday afternoon, and now I’m unsure if I can rely on you in the future
- I felt grateful when you stayed late last night to help me with the report, and it allowed me to make it home in time to put my kids to bed
Feeling
- How you feel, not how you perceive the other person feels
- This lessens how much the person on receiving end can dispute your statement
- You don’t care about your responsibility – open door for argumentative and defensive responses That’s not true. I do care!
- Instead: I feel angry, I feel frustrated, I feel disappointed
Behavior
- Recipient needs to know what they did that caused you to feel a certain way and the more specific you can be, the better
Impact
- In this example when you tell someone that their behavior makes you question their reliability, you are showing them the consequences of being late and inspiring them to want to do differently next time
Recognition
- You’re amazing – doesn’t inspire anyone – it’s like the Whole Participation Generation thing
In my Joy at Work Course, you can get even more advice and action steps to give meaningful and constructive feedback.
Make sure you’re following along on our YouTube channel (youtube.com/drjessicalouie) as well with new videos going live every Saturday!
Make sure you’re implementing and taking action by implementing our Burnout Starter Kit and investing in yourself with our VIP 1:1 coaching or 1-hour strategy calls.
Until next time, spark joy my friends!
Tl;dr: How do I give meaningful feedback to others? I’m so nervous that I will offend someone, please help! Let’s talk about 3 simple steps to give feedback.
Note, my views are my own and are not associated or representative of my employer(s).
This podcast is for educational purposes only and not medical advice.