Episode 39 discussing why comparison is hurting us, how to stop comparing our lives to others and 3 real-life examples from my life that you may resonate with and learn from.
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Mentioned on Ep 039: What is comparison syndrome, how does it relate to burnout and 3 action steps on how to stop comparing yourself to others
Hi friends and welcome back to The Burnout Doctor Podcast, I’m your host, Dr. Jessica Louie. On Episode 39, we are talking how Comparison is the thief of JOY. It holds us back. From living OUR lives. Not the lives we think society or others want us to live.
Do you scroll through social media and get lost in all the highlight rolls of your friends lives?
Do you compare where you are to where your friends lives are? Or influencers? Bloggers?
I know that I used to do this ALL THE TIME.
“Comparison is the thief of joy,” attributed to President Theodore Roosevelt and others, evokes a powerful sentiment that can be life-changing. If we compare ourselves to others, we may be left with feelings of inferiority or superiority—and neither creates an emotionally healthy human being!
“Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.”
Example 1: I used to compare myself to others at Orange Theory Fitness ALL THE TIME. I compared myself to my twin sister as she ran at 10-11 mph speed next to me…while I was a perpetual Power Walker at speed 4-4.5 mph, incline 4. Then I went on to compare my rowing times – because despite being petite, I was still rowing slower than her. I did this growing up to as a competitive gymnast, lacking skills to my twin sister who was fearless.
Example 2: Comparison to couples who dated less time and then got engaged, married and even had kids before we had transitioned from boyfriend to fiancé.
How did it help me and my life? It didn’t. I let it take away JOY because I didn’t take ownership of my own feelings and happiness. I changed this around as we entered 5 years together – I had gone through my personal/professional development process and sat down to get on the same page with my now fiancé. We also started a weekly habit of checking in on our relationship, life goals and weekly date nights
How to stop comparison
First, Clarify your own life values and goals. The better we KNOW OURSELVES, the more we don’t need to keep up or compare. We will truly feel HAPPY and JOYFUL for others accomplishments and life events.
Second, Acknowledge it is there. Social media is a highlight roll of only the best parts of our lives. They are curated feeds.
Third, Clarify our feelings. When you see a photo and immediately feel jealousy, clarify WHY you feel this way – journal it out, get to the root of WHY you’re feeling the way your are
When you exit an activity, such as social media, how do you feel? Do you feel uplifted or negative?
If it’s negative, align your life values and see if you need to simplify some of those activities – mute or unfollow people, they can easily be added back – reduce the time you spend with these people or on these apps
Fourth, Use it as a catalyst for gratitude. Our worst days are better than most peoples best days here in the United States. Shift your perspective and feel grateful for what you have and how fortunate you are. Then take it a step further to help someone in need. Could be as simple as physical donations to the local shelter or charity (after KonMari your home) or it could be donating your time to volunteer locally in your community for a cause or organization you care about.
Action step: tell me if you compare yourself to others and tell me how you’ll STOP letting it steal your JOY. Tag me in the post on LinkedIn or Instagram.
My coaching program offers 30-minute weekly sessions to check-in for accountability, reflect on progress, answer and guide you through difficulties. Apply now at DrJessicaLouie.com/coaching.
Until next time, spark joy my friends!
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Note, my views are my own and are not associated or representative of my employer(s).
This podcast is for educational purposes only and not medical advice.
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